Happy Christmas Eve lovely readers! Put another log on the fire, pour yourselves a nice glass of port, and sit back and enjoy the final installment in this year’s Festive Toastie Extravaganza. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen, the toasties were toasting and looking bewitchin’…
Today’s experimental subject is ye olde time-y candy cane. Which totally pops against that blue background, amirite?
I like candy canes. What I don’t like however is having to peel off the fiddly plastic cover they come in. Especially when I have ten of them.
However once they are finally de-peeled, I can start constructing the toastie. How many should I put in? One candy cane fits quite neatly on the bread.
Three candy canes means I have some nice horizontals going on.
Oh screw it, I’ll just do them all. It is Christmas after all.
Excellent. This toastie now displays the correct ratio of filling to bread, which is approximately 8:1. This is known as the ‘Golden Sandwich Mean’.
I don’t think I’ve seen anything more festive in my whole life.
Given the bulk of the toastie it does take a few minutes for the melting to take effect. Oh but it’s such a wondrous thing to behold. Sometimes images express more than words ever could, so let’s just watch and enjoy as this beautiful process unfurls:
It does rather look from the side though as if toothpaste is being squeezed out of the bread. Which is starting to remind me of a certain ill-fated toastie which I still have nightmares about.
The process of extraction from the toastie maker is slightly problematic however. To avoid three degree burns I have to wait until the melted pool of candy has cooled and soldified somewhat. Then I have to basically chisel the sandwich off the plates.
Fortunately no toastie makers were harmed in the production of this toastie. However, I call this shot ‘The Desolation of Sandwich’.
The candy canes have also fused the bread together and I can’t prise it open for a look at the innards.
However the cross section is quite satisfying. This toastie is epically pink, and thankfully smells much better than toothpaste.
And a side on view! Featuring a blob of candy which ended up on top of the sandwich, and a bite taken by yours truly.
My favourite by-product of this toastie however is this strip of candy which formed as I was removing the toastie and soldified:
Behold! I have created bacon from candy! Yea verily, tis a Christmas miracle.
OFFICIAL TOASTIE PROJECT RATING:
Toastability – hm, tricky. It was very difficult to clean the toastie maker afterwards, yes. But the scale of melting candy was just so satisfying to watch, that I think it makes up for all that. I’m going to give it a 4/5 because it was just so darn fun to make.
Taste – 2.5/5. This did not taste like toothpaste. In the words of my invaluable assistant who was fortunate enough to sample the finished product, it tasted like peppermint candy floss. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. However I don’t think the addition of bread to candy canes was something that enhanced the taste. Sometimes toasting things makes them taste better, sometimes it doesn’t. Life is like a box of chocolates, my friends. You never know which ones are better in a toastie.
And with that I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a toastie-filled New Year. Thanks for sending all your lovely emails and comments, and we’ll be back next year with more toasting!